Oh my gosh I've got a penis infection!

So you've got a little something wrong "down there"? Is it a penis infection? There are a lot of conditions that invade the penis and not all of them are sexually transmitted. Let's have a little peek down there and I'll see if I can tell you what's going on.

What is a penis infection?

There is no official medical condition known as a penis infection. Loosely speaking, it is any condition that affects the penis. For the purposes of this article, we can break the subject down into two broad categories: Stuff that can kill you and stuff that can't kill you.

Stuff that can kill you

Most everything that falls into this category are typically Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Although not all of them are fatal, they are all serious and require immediate medical attention. Though individual symptoms vary widely, depending upon the disease, if you are experiencing a dripping or oozing of anything from the head of your penis, especially pus or blood, experience painful urination, or have warts growing in your "special place", stop reading this article and get thyself to the doctor right now. If it's 3:00 in the morning then get yourself to the emergency room right now.

Stuff that can't kill you

Even penis infections that fall into this category require medical treatment. The most common non-STD condition that affect the penis is Candidiasis which is also known as thrush, or yeast infection. Yes Billy, men get yeast infections too and it doesn't mean that you are a wus.

The symptoms of candidiasis include spots of white patches on the foreskin and shaft of penis dry, flaky itchy skin. Sometimes there is also a discharge that may smell like yeasty bread or beer. These symptoms are very close to some of the symptoms of genital herpes so, like I said, don't mess around with self-diagnosis!

Since Candida can be transmitted by sexual contact, it is one of those penis infections that straddle the line between an STD and non-STD disease. If your partner is suffering from a yeast infection it is best to avoid sexual contact, especially unprotected sexual contact, until the condition passes. Yeast infections are also very happy to live in your mouth and throat, so oral sex is a no-no during infection as well.

Since it annoys some men that they can get a disease like yeast infections, which society things is so girly, you'll be happy to know that us real men have at least one disease that we can call our own: Balanitis. Doesn't that sound manly? Balanitis is a general term that is used to describe any inflammation of the skin that covers the head or glans, of the penis.

Some of the penis infections that fall under the heading of Balanitis are caused by simple poor hygiene, especially among men who have not been circumcised. If you fail to regularly pull back your foreskin to remove the build-up of smegma, you leave yourself open to infection and irritation.

Other conditions include seborrhoeic dermatitis, and a real doozy called "balanitis xerotica obliterans" or BXO. This infection causes a discoloration of your penis (yikes) as well as a tightening of the foreskin that will ultimately require you to be circumcised even if that's the last thing you wanted to find on your to-do list.

Since most penis infections that are not life-threatening are fungus-based, treatment will usually include applying a cream or ointment to the affected area. If the infection is particularly severe, your doctor may prescribe an oral anti-fungicide.

Fungi are like mushrooms in that they love to grow in dark and damp places. In fact, mushrooms are a fungus and since you definitely don't want to find them or their cousins growing in your undershorts, follow these simple tips:

  1. Keep your groin area dry by drying off as soon as possible after swimming or bathing, or after any activity that causes you to perspire.
  2. Change out of wet clothes as soon as possible.
  3. Never use someone else's unlaundered towel since fungus infections can be spread this way.
  4. Don't wear clothes that are too tight and restrict air circulation around your crotch.
  5. Wear cottons or synthetic materials that will wick moisture away from your body.

Above all else, see your doctor immediately if you even think that you think that you have a penis infection. Your penis' health is nothing to play with.